|
Deputy Shaq is on the prowl and more thoughts from the Back Porch
Thought #1 - Things seem pretty bad in the city of Cleveland right now. The Indians were awful, the Browns have A win, and now the Cavs are even stumbling through the first couple games of their season. But never fear C-Town, I have found your bright spot and his name is... Deputy Shaq! That's right Shaquille O'Neal has applied to be a "special deputy" in the Cuyahoga County Sheriff's office. O'Neal will be able to carry a gun and even make arrests. Feel a little better now Cleveland? Isn't it comforting to know Kazaam is watching over you tonight as you sleep? You know who is probably not down with this, Delonte West. Dude better stay on his toes in the locker room now. I mean Shaq may ask to borrow some Old Spice, start digging through the wrong bag, and bam! Find one of old Mad Max's ozzies underneath that sweet multi zipper leather jacket and wrapped up in a newspaper. Tread lightly Delonte, it ain't going down on Deputy Shaq's watch.
Thought #2 - When I was a kid we also had Diet Coke in the house. No Mountain Dew, no Dr. Pepper, and not even those sweet off brands like Dr. Perky or Mountain Lighting. We also generally had Pepperoni Pizza from Little Caeser's not Pizza Hut,(typically it was the Big Foot, remember that thing, it seemed huge as a 8 year old) Also, we watched Nascar on Sundays, not cartoons or movies, Nascar. And do you know why? Because those were the things my dad liked and he payed the bills. Now this taught me a very valuable lesson, the same lesson that Jeff Fisher has just learned in Tennessee. He who cuts the checks, gets what he wants. Titan's owner Bud Adams came out earlier this week and said he wanted Vince Young to start, and you know who is starting Sunday.... Vince Young. That's just the way it goes Jeff, make the best of it. And sure listening to the oldies station on long rode trips sucks look at the bright side, you'll know all the words to Crocodile Rock the next time you go to karaoke.
Thought #3 - Tim Donaghy reminds me a lot of the kids I spend everyday with. I give one silent lunch for throwing paper and he imediately drops the. "but, Mr. Williams, he threw a pencil!" or I tell one to stop talking and its, "but they're talking too!" Timmy, who has been busted for all kinds of gambling related wrong doings, has decided it's a good idea to come out and tell the world that all kinds of refs were in the same sinking boat with him. He was defiantly was this kid in school. Guarantee you he was the kid who finally got invited to sneak up to the roof at school to smoke cigarettes during wood shop, was dumb enough to go off bragging loudly about it, get busted, and then rat on everyone else who was up there. Seriously Timmy, did you think wood shop teacher even cared? Dude's only goal was for us to leave every day with our thumbs attached and here you go putting him in that kind of position. Donaghy is just making himself look ridiculous and he had better careful those other refs don't catch him in the locker room with out the PE teacher around or he'll have a one way ticket to a butt whopping and a sweet swirly in that gross locker room toilet.
Thought #4 - Nascar driver A.J. Allmendinger was charged with a DUI on Thursday. On Friday Nascar gave A.J. a breath test prior to practice at Talladega. Good call Nascar. Most people who get busted for drinking and driving spend the next day throwing down shots, especially if they have to go to work. Either they think A.J. is a complete moron or this is just another classic Nascar dog and pony show. It's not like he went Miguel Cabrera that night and was so tanked he would still be buzzing two days later either, he just had a couple drinks and got pulled over. Now I'm not justifying what he did, just saying that testing him seems far more like a check for Nascar on the old self righteous meter than it does an necessary pre-cautious measure.
Thought #5 - Pretty sure there is a small wide life refuge living in Baron Davis beard right now. Hopefully he at least has a duck-billed platypus in there so he can get some money from the government.
|
|
|