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Larry Johnson & Conway Twitty tapes for sale!
Thought #1 - Did you have yard sell lady in your neighborhood when you were growing up? You know, that one old lady on your block that spent every single Saturday between April and September trying to pawn off her old stuff from her front lawn? She'd start wheeling that junk out there at the crack of dawn, throw down that old blanket and cover that thing with random trinkets, old cook books, and the largest assortment of porcelain animals (especially chickens for some reason) you'd ever seen. There she sat, everyday, the junk never changed. Even though she was only asking a nickel for that tape of "Christmas in Dollywood" no body was buying. I'd imagine Larry Johnson feels a lot like that lady right now. Just sitting out there on the lawn, watching teams driving and try to avoid making eye contact with him. Nobody's stopping. Larry's sitting there all day, holding up that 2007 Fantasy Guide he was the cover boy for and even though dude only costs a nickel, even though KC will be picking up his entire contract for this season, so far, no body's pulled over. LJ, you got a bad reputation and some high mileage. You got to realize the longer you sit out there on that lawn, the harder it's going to be for anyone to suck it up and pay anything for that porcelain cat or that 3 pack of Conway Twitty tapes.
Thought #2 - The Washington Redskins have officially stated they are not interested in Larry Johnson, well I take that back. Jim Zorn, says they are not interested, not sure how much weight that carries at this point. Although I think it is against official Redskin policy to take on an aging player without having to pay him a huge salary. Way to stay consistent Washington.
Thought #3- Bengals head coach Marvin Lewis banned Chad Ochocinco from mailing things to the Steelers this week after learning Chad was planning to send them a surplus of mustard. Last week Chad sent packs of deodorant to the Baltimore Ravens. I feel like Chad honestly believes he lives in a Saved by the Bell episode. You remember, they get in that prank war with the rival school during basketball season, which by the way, I'm not sure when they all started playing basketball. Of course Mr. Belding find out and teaches them all some sappy important life lesson. That's what's running through Chad's head right now, prank war with Big Ben, and ol Coach Lewis busted it up. Dag! I just can't wait to Chad drops the "Time Out" freeze moment during the middle of a game. If youre Coach Lewis you got to watch out to, the last thing you want is for Ocho and Cedric Benson getting into it over who is taking Kelly to the Sweetheart dance, that could be disastrous for an offense.
I get it Chad, you're a fun guy, you like pranks, you love attention, and you've finally got a winner so you're going to milk it for all it's worth. To be honest you've done a great job of turning your 15 minutes of fame into about 3 hours. Just be careful, as long as you are winner, this stuff is cool, but as soon as things go bad you're going to be the scape goat of the week.
Thought #4 - Brady Quinn was announced as the Brown's starter for Monday nights game against the Ravens. Good news is, his QB rating is 30 points higher than former starter Derek Anderson's. Bad new, that means he is maxing out at 60. How awful are the Browns right now? How about this; they have combined for 3 touchdowns this year and 13 INTs, awesome huh? Let's face it, this car is on a one way collision course with a tree, so does it really matter who is driving it? Neither guy is capable to avoiding the wreck, so you might as well go down with the better looking and more marketable of the two. I mean yeah, Quinn has been pretty horrible this year, but maybe he can sell a few ab rollers or 5 dollar footlongs for you. Oh, and possibly a few tickets so you don't have to blackout a Monday night game in a classic football city. Listen Cleveland, the ship's going down fast, doesn't really matter whose holding onto to the wheel when it finally goes completely under.
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