The Back Porch

Jeremiah Masoli done for the 2010 season, the Ducks have issues, and new reports on Tiger's black friday

Thought #1

Ever wonder how much two laptops and an old guitar cost? How about 5 grand, 12 months probation, 140 hours of community service, and, oh yeah, a year of your college career.

Well that's the price Oregon quarterback Jeremiah Masoli will be paying for going Captain Sticky Fingers on a frat house. Jeremiah pleaded guilty to second-degree burglary for his part in the theft of a pair of laptops and guitar.

Now I get it, the thrill of stealing things got to you. I mean I saw Ocean's Eleven. You get some cool disguises, start running some witty dialog, and come up with some ridiculously brilliant scheme. It's fail proof and awesome! Only you didn't come up with some great scheme to steal diamonds or rob a casino, you just jacked a few undergrads Macs and a guitar, obliviously had no disguise, and I'm seriously doubting you said a darn thing that was slightly witty.

Listen Jeremiah, you are....were the starting quarterback for one of the top teams in the Pac-10. Your face is plastered all over ESPN, and even more so all over the entire campus of Oregon. You can't just run around lifting some random frat boy's toys. For the record, robbing millions from evil casino owners is cool. Jacking computers and musical instruments from frats is stupid and lame, which makes it double stupid.

Thought 1a.

And by the way, what is going on in with you guys in Eugene? The same day Jeremiah is in court his teammate LaMichael James is in there pleading guilty to misdemeanor assault. Are you guys trying to one up each other? At this rate the Eugene courthouse might as well go ahead and put in a team room for you guys.

Come on Oregon, you aren't some division three bottom feeder, you were a legit title contender last season. Grow up and quit acting like this is some National Lampoons' college football comedy and realize you are costing your school it's chance to become one of the big boys on the national stage.

Thought #2

Just as reports begin to surface about a potential Tiger Woods come back, which by the way has the golf world drooling profusely, new information about the night of his "accident" surface.

New reports from that night have come up saying that the emergency crew that responded to the event refused to let Tiger's wife, Elin, ride in the ambulance with him because they feared it was a domestic violence case.

Now Tiger has come out and stated that Elin has never hit him, which Lord knows took mad restraint, but apparently things appeared quite different that night. They have also reported that Tiger had taken some level of pain killers earlier that day.

So let's think about this. Tiger's wife finds out he's been cheating, he gets in some ridiculous wreck in his own driveway, and then doesn't make a public appearance for months after. Hmm, is that enough time for a few stitches and a black eye to heal? Yep.

Bottom line is that something bizarre happened that night and Tiger is keeping his lips sealed about it, which makes it all the worse. As much as he would like it, this isn't going away until dude comes out and has a real press conference, ditches the script, and answers some real questions. It is long overdue, but really it is the only way this will ever die down.

Roethlisberger used the word "intercourse" with police, Milton Bradley thinks hate was racial, and The Back Porch podcast!

Thought #1

One of my goals in life is to never have to use the word "intercourse" when talking to the police. I figure if I'm ever caught in a situation where that has to be uttered to some officer of law enforcement at some level things have gone horribly wrong. So far, goal achieved. It's too bad for Ben Roethlisberger and Steeler fans that he can't say the same.

This week it was reported that the Steelers' QB did in fact talk to the police the evening he was accused of sexual misconduct. He denied having sex with the 20-year-old, but did admit they had "contact." It was added that it was not, "consummated."

Is it just me, or is this possibly the absolute last conversation you ever want to have with a cop? Heck I don't even comfortably use the word intercourse with my friends, much less consummated. It just seems awkward. Are we to really believe after a night out at the bars, Ben used those terms to describe what happened between him and this girl? Really? You're telling me a guy out celebrating his birthday suddenly got a thesaurus deep vocab about a 10 minutes relationship he had in a bar bathroom? Dude has been kicking back brews all night and suddenly he's talking like a English grad student. Yeah, not sure I'm buying this one. Then again, not sure I'm buying that a girl would go through all the trouble of spending the evening in a hospital and consistently being harassed by her classmates just for a long shot at scoring some coin.

Thought #2

Milton Bradley has come out and claimed the he never felt comfortable in Chicago because the fans were racist. He said he felt like a prisoner in his home, rarely going out, and that people only respected African American players who were great, such as Andre Dawson and Ernie Banks.

So let me get this straight. You didn't go out much, didn't make yourself available to the fan base and afford yourself the chance to build some relationships meanwhile batting .257 and managing 12 home runs, but they didn't like you because of your race? Riiiiight. Pretty sure you just killed your own argument there Milton. Yeah Chicago fans don't dig African Americans who are underachieving and over payed, just like they don't dig Irish Americans, Native Americans, Latin Americans, or any combo of the above who play halfhearted baseball and leave the bat on their shoulder when they get in the box. Check yourself Milton, it wasn't your race that earned you haters, it was your attitude.

Why read when you can listen? The Back Porch podcast!

Tomlinson might make the Vikings a fantasy team, Carl Edwards gets a smack on the wrist, and Jim Sorgi holds another Manning's playbook

Thought #1

The 2010 Minnesota Vikings may very well look like my 2008 fantasy football team. Reportedly LaDainian Tomlinson will visit the Vikes Thursday with the possibility of replacing former back up running back Chester Taylor on the table. Taylor, who signed with the Bears recently as put of their opening day spending spree, left some decent sized shoes to fill in Minnesota but if this works out there is no doubt LT's feet might very well burst the seems out of those puppies though.

Could their possibility be a more dream scenario for Vikings fans? Now granted 2010 LT isn't the same as 2006 LT, but he's made it no secret that he is ok with playing the mentor role. Could he possibly teach Peterson the elusive art of holding onto the rock? Maybe even convince him to upgrade his wardrobe to include that tinted visor? You know that thing adds something to the "holy crap what's he going to do next," mindset.

Can you imagine being a defense against that combo? "Whew, AD's finally taking a breather, now all we have to worry about is getting lit up by a completely rested LT." The Vikings would honestly be one Andre Johnson and the Jets defense away from a legitimate contender in the major of fantasy leagues around the country. And if this does go down, Brett is going to have a heck of a hard time choosing football in that field with his dog over playing with these two.

Thought #2

Carl Edwards was officially put on 3 weeks probation today by NASCAR for his intentional wrecking of Brad Keselowski and his unintentional attempted homicide of Brad and endangerment thousands of fans.

Now I will say, I'm a fan of the whole rubbing is racing philosophy, but NASCAR has got to decide what they really want here. If you are going to come out and say you want the fellas to settle things on the track, don't come out when something goes horribly wrong and act surprised. And worse than that, don't come out and offer up some ridiculous fake punishment. Probation? Really? What does that even mean? "Ok Mr. Edwards, for 3 weeks no almost killing other drivers and fans on the track. You just watch yourself buddy or you'll be on double secret probation come that forth week." Yeah, this about as effective as a kid's punishment being to have a "conference" with the principal at school after being caught smoking in the Boy's room. Sure, after that in depth chat he won't do it again, that is until he swipes another pack of his non-filters and a hall pass.

The bottom line is that NASCAR has be losing fans and was hoping a little beating and banging would increase the increase of the casual viewer. Let's make this clear, they aren't upset for what Edwards did, it was exactly what they wanted, they are just upset of the outcome. If that car doesn't go airborne, then this goes down as just another little rivalry they can try to build up during the pre-race show. Now that things got a little more serious, sure they are apologetic, but secertly you know they are digging the fact that people are talking about stock car racing on a random Tuesday in March.

Thought #3

Congratulations Jim Sorgi, you've gotten a new gig. No longer to have to spend your Sundays wearing an ugly hat and carrying around for Peyton Manning, you can now wear an ugly hat and carry one for Eli. Sorgi just got signed by the New York Giants, where he will compete for the role of clip board holder #1. Now on one hand you think, man dude can't get a break, but on the other you think, sweet pay check and he'll still have the ability to walk when he's 50. Let's face it, back up QB might be one of the best jobs ever. Decent pay check, free travel, free team gear, and no need to take that awkward post game shower. Just walk off the field, ask the coach where the clean jerseys go, and head to the post game buffet. Sure you'd like to play someday, but at the same time you look at the guy on crutches beside you, struggling to get his blood stained pads off and think, "hmm, maybe I'm good."

Allen Iverson, drinking and gambling his way into the life of a hobo and the Spurs are hurt yet again

Thought #1

It's pretty clear that the career of Allen Iverson is snowballing out of control right now. Recently all ties between AI and the 76ers were cut following reports of him being out at night club while on leave from the team to attend to his sick daughter. Today ESPN has reported that several sources claim Allen is facing some serious alcohol and gambling problems.

Not exactly what hope to hear from a guy watching his career come to a stumbling hault. You know when you hear about guys losing their jobs typically you hope they pick up the pieces, maybe find pleasure in some related field, or just kind of slide out of the limelight gracefully. Turning to the bottle and slot machines for comfort is not exactly the most positive alternative. In fact, the combination of boozing and decision making with large amounts of money, rarely seems to work out well as a successful coping mechanism.

This is just the latest problem Allen is facing, along with his wife filing for divorce and full custody of their children, and of course his fading career. With this recent addition "The Answer" is moving dangerously close to Dennis Rodman sketchy ex-athlete territory. You know, the place where a player is known far more for their off the court misgivings, than their on the court brilliance. Think about it, what's Rodman known best for? That's right, rocking a wedding dress and creeping out little kids, not his amazing rebounding ability. If Iverson isn't careful and turn this thing around, his amazing NBA career will very likely be overshadowed by the image of hobo AI, throwing back Old Crow whiskey and shooting dice in an alley with ashy Larry.

Thought #2

Tell me if you've heard this before; The San Antonio Spurs will be without one of their stars for a while. Sound familiar? Sound like every season for about the past 6 years? It should. The Spurs learned today that they will be without guard Tony Parker for six weeks following breaking his right hand.

Are the Spurs ever healthy? They remind me of that kid in elementary school who had no immune system. That kid would miss about 75 days of school a year, and the days he was there, he stayed in the nurse's office half of the day. He was allergic to gluten, all forms of nuts, milk, eggs, sugar, tap water, and air. Anytime your class had a party, that kids mom had to truck in some special soy bean crackers for him to nibble while the rest of you slammed cupcakes. And you know you didn't want to be within 10 feet of that kid and his massive supply of hand sanitizer. I swear that kid's mom bathed him in that stuff and he still couldn't make it to Halloween before having the swine flu twice.

The Spurs are the NBA's version of the sick kid. They are always hurting in some way, and right when you think they're turning the corner, bam, Tony goes down with a hand, Duncan turns an ankle, or Manu gets attacked by a bat. The good news is, being the sick kid, you get used to dealing with it, seeing it coming, and cope a little better than most. All that experience missing school and watching the Price is Right has taught the Spurs how to stay in contention through their illnesses.

Roethlisberger accused of sexual assault yet again, The Bears go Redskins on the market, and NCAA tourny thoughts

Thought #1

With children one thing is for certain; if you let a kid get away with something once, the odds of them doing it again shoot throw the roof. Think about it. Kid steals a cookie before dinner, you let it slide, be darned sure that kid will be pounding 3 or 4 more before the meal and then refusing to eat the tuna helper you whipped up. Let a kid get away with playing hooky from school and suddenly that kid is on Web MD and claiming he has the last known case of the black plague.

Turns out NFL players and kids have a lot in common and Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger may have just proven this theory correct yet again. Big Ben, fresh off one case of sexually assault accusations in Lake Tahoe, is under investigation for similar actions in Georgia following a night of barhopping with his boys.

Now granted nothing has been even close to proven, in fact Ben has not even be charged, but you have to think that when you consistently are seeing smoke, eventually you are going to find a fire. Ben may or may not be guilty of the assault, but he is guilty of making some poor decisions. When you are a multi million dollar and extremely well known QB, hanging out at bars with sketchy chicks until the wee hours of the night is probably a bad idea. In fact, that's kind of like mixing up a batch of vinegar and baking soda and then hoping that old home made volcano doesn't take off on you. Come on Ben, I know you got off untouched in the last situation, but dude, learn from your mistakes. If you want to pick up some ladies try a Barnes and Noble or a Starbucks or even the mall. When is the last time you heard someone get accused of sexual assault buying a venti cup of joe and an overpriced muffin? Exactly, doesn't happen. Better decisions equal less accusations Ben.

Thought #2

Did the Chicago Bears just become this year's Washington Redskins? As the free agency season kicked off yesterday, the Bears looked like an old lady at a K-mart going out of business sale, rushing down the aisles, snagging as many cans of discount pinto beans and bottles of oil of olay as possible.

The Bears hit the market hard yesterday, scooping up Julius Peppers, Chester Taylor, and Brandon Manumaleuna. On one hand its hard to blame the Bears for diving in head first being that they don't have a draft pick this year until round three. On the other hand, they pushed a lot of their chips in last year when they made moves to get Jay Cutler and with this recent round of betting they've moved to the point of playing on the casino's credit. This is going to go one of two ways for Chicago. They are either going to make out like bandits, grinding it out and punching the rest of the NFC North in the mouth, or they are going to get blown up on the scoreboard by their opponents, not be able to keep up, and realize Peppers and Taylor have reached their ceiling already, having no where to go but down. Since they are still lacking a decent threat at wideout and Jay Cutler has looked painful at best, my money will be on the latter.

Thought #3

Big day for plenty of college hoops teams and of course much of the talk surrounds who is in the dance and who will get left out. Of course anytime this conversation takes place the idea of expanding the tournament comes up. What an awful thought.

Do you remember the 50 yard dash on field day in elementary school? Remember how there were really only about 3 or 4 kids who could compete to win, but yet they let nearly have the school run and get that plastic participation ribbon? Yeah, that's what some people want the NCAA tournament to become. Everybody's in, everyone's a winner, and everyone get a juice box and pack of goldfish at the end of the day. Bad idea.

It's like the girl who says every guy she dates is special. Listen chick, you tell yourself whatever you need to so that you sleep better at night, but the bottom line is if every dude you're with is "special" non of them are really special. If everyone is a winner, no one is a winner.

More is not always the answer. Let's be honest, if you aren't one of the best 64 teams, why do you deserve to play anywhere in March?

Maryland fan goes Boston Massacre, Steve Williams is mad at Tiger, and the Back Porch podcast!

Thought #1

You know a party isn't a party until someone breaks out the riot gear.I mean seriously, how can you tell how big of a win your team just had unless you see those shields and billy clubs get drawn?

This is exactly what happened Wednesday night in College Park, MD following the Terrapins defeat of the Duke Blue Devils. Not only did the fans rush the court, which is pretty common these days, but the party then spilled out to the streets. This is apparently where Terrapin fan decide it was a good idea to go Boston Massacre on everyone by lobbing snow balls at the Police. The riot gear was soon broke out, 27 folks got arrested, and now we officially know that was a big win for the program. Thanks Terrapin fan.

Thought #2

Tiger Woods' caddie Steve Williams has come out and voiced his angry towards Tiger about this entire situation. Makes sense, can't caddie for a guy who isn't playing. Steve just lost his job for a few months and what exactly can a caddie do other than caddie? What marketable trade skill is carrying stuff when you need a quick part time gig? Does try to carry groceries for the elderly? Possible get a job as a car hop at Sonic? Or maybe try and convince some construction worker that he can carry his tools around for him and make suggestions as to which size wrench to use? Yeah, Steve should be a little ticked.

Check out the Back Porch podcast!

Lebron James to swap digits, Sean Payton goes bad roommate on Jerry's wine, and the future for Gilbert and AI.

Thought #1

Lebron James has filed the official paperwork that would allow him to change his jersey number from its current 23 to the number 6, which was his number during the Olympics. Lebron has decided to do this to honor Michael Jordan. So let me get this straight, because MJ is a hall of famer and linked to 23 you are going to swap his number out for 6, which is linked to not one, but two arguably as influential players in Dr. J and Bill Russell? Is the Akron Hammer aware there was basketball prior to 1988? It's like asking a 15 year old what the best all time comedy is and having him tell you it's Harold and Kumar go to White Castle or that horrible Dukes of Hazzard movie. You just want to strap that kid to a chair and force him to watch Animal House, Fletch, and Ghostbusters until he sees the light.

Thought #1b

Is it possible this is a prelude to where the top free agent will end up after this summer? The league only requires a player to file this paper work if he remains in Cleveland, so Cavs fans are no doubt pretty geeked. But should they be? Is it possible Lebron is shedding the digits in preparation of a trip to Chi-Town where the number hangs from the rafters? Could it be he wants to honor his hero by not only dropping his number, but picking up his old stomping ground colors? Interesting. Also worth noting is the idea this could also swing Chicago native and fellow free agent Dwayne Wade to the Bulls.

Not saying its the reason, just throwing it out there as an idea. Of course there is also the idea that it never hurts jersey sales to require James' fans to have to purchase a few more shirts. I mean you can't be seen rocking the wrong number for your boy and with the fact that the Cavs have like 5 different color combos now, that could really boost the old jersey sales economy.

Thought #2

One of the worst feelings in the world is waking up to an empty milk carton. You know that feeling. You woke up around 2am, stomach growling, and you told yourself, "just wait buddy, that sweet combo of Cinnamon Toast Crunch and Coco Pebbles will be there in the morning. You wake up, still listening to the growl, head to the kitchen, and pour up a giant bowl of that sweet mixture. Just then, out of the corner of your eye, you see the empty carton. Your roommate has downed it, not replenished it, and left it there to taunt you. Awful. Friendships have been ruined over less.

If you know that feeling, welcome to Jerry Jones' world, only Jerry is more of a wine guy than a milk guy. Jones had a fancy bottle of wine specifically set aside for him at the combine this weekend. Kind of like most of us order a pizza, Jerry had called ahead and had that thing put on ice just for him. Enter Super Bowl winning coach Sean Payton. Sean apparently gets down on the same label as Jerry. When Sean was told the only bottle there was specifically set aside for Jones, he just could not help but go bad college roommate on it, put it down, and then leave it there to taunt Jones. Word has it he even added a little note reading, "Who Dat!"

I can't wait for this year's Saints - Cowboys game!

Thought #3

Gilbert Arenas apparently would apparently have no problem playing for the Wizards again and is also not really stressing getting sentenced for his crimes. Ah, the true mark of a crazy man, not realizing you are crazy. Of course Agent Zero has no problem with the idea of playing for them, they didn't threaten him with a gun. They didn't threaten to blow his knee caps off. Gilbert apparently still isn't getting it. He apparently still doesn't understand that he could very easily be making license plates instead of baskets here soon. And maybe even more importantly than that, he doesn't get it that normal people don't threaten to shot people and then actually bring weapons to work as a joke. Maybe a few months of having to give his jello cups and rolls over to giant guy with "spike" tattooed on his chest will sober him up to the idea of abiding by the rules of society.

Thought #4

Allen Iverson may be done as an NBA player. Today the 76ers, who seemed to be Iverson's last option, announced that AI will not be returning to the team this season. Allen, who has been gone from the team to tend to his wife and sick daughter, was reportedly seen recently out at a nightclub. Not exactly where I would expect a man with a severely sick daughter to be spending his nights.

You know, if you call in sick to work, it typically not a good idea to be seen by anyone. You can take the day, watch some Price is Right, even take a trip some where off the beaten path, but as soon as you run into someone from work, it's over. You've got to either pay sick or claim a miraculous healing. Of course the crazy the place is you are seen, the more ridiculous your excuse becomes. You know, "umm I had to go to Busch Gardens because my doctor said roller coasters help my heart rate." Or, "of course, shopping at the mall is the perfect place to rid myself of the swine flu, good walking, and that thick air shooting out of pretzel stand is just perfect for clearing the sinuses."

Wonder how Allen can swing his excuse? Picking up a little whiskey for the daughters cough? Is he going to swear he thought he was stumbling into a Barnes and Noble to pick up a good bedtime story for his kid? I mean all those lights and load music, he probably just figured it was a promotion for the new Twilight book. Yeah, teams will buy that. Oh Allen, you are no longer The Answer, these days you're just a bad suggestion.

Michael Jordan gets hands on with the Bobcats, Tim Tebow's combine, and Hockey fallout

Thought #1

So the thought was the Michael Jordan would take over the Bobcats, kind of stay behind the scenes, and let the basketball folks run the show. And who exactly believed this? Yeah, outside of your buddy who just bought that gym that hooks onto your door, not to many folks. MJ's first move as owner was to head down to the court, play and lose two games of HORSE with Gerald Henderson. Ouch. Bet he didn't see that one coming. This is kind of like when you go to a basketball game as a kid and that last day you have that game against the counselors. You know the college guys who are helping out with the camp always talk made trash and then take a weird amount of pride in beating a group of 13 year olds. Yeah, that's probably more what his Airness had in mind when he started that contest. Then suddenly he was calling to go best 2 out of 3 after the first lose, which of course was followed by offering up a 7 game series when he tanked the second game. Can't you just see the guys on the team. "Um sorry sir, listen we really have to get to actual practice now, maybe we can play more later."

Now more importantly than MJ's loses for Bobcats' fans is Jordan's level of interaction. Let's face it, Jordan's track record hasn't exactly been stellar when it comes to decision making. *Cough cough, Kwame Brown. Now it was report that Jordan did avoid the temptation of going after Larry Hughes, good sign, but sooner or later you have to think Jordan will want to prove himself. Sooner or later you have to think he's going to reach, and when he does, when you see Rasheed Wallace being signed to a multi-year deal or see him throw a high draft pick towards the Bucks for Jerry Stackhouse, don't say you weren't warned.

Thought #2

Tim Tebow was impressive at the combine this weekend, but not as much for his QB skills as for his athletic ability. Tebow recorded a 4.7 40 yard dash time and tied a record for vertical leap at 38.5 inches. So if Timmy end's up needing to jump straight up during an NFL game, he should be good to go. Listen was there any doubt this guy is a beast physically? No. The doubts are whether or not he can play under center, whether or not he can handle running an NFL offense, and most importantly, whether or not he can throw a football decently after dropping tons of time and coin on learning a new motion. Pretty sure how high you can jump, or how fast you can sprint while wearing spandex doesn't play that big of a role when it comes to playing QB in the league. Case in point, who did he tie for that impressive vertical? Josh McCown. Yeah, he tied the guy sitting at about the 12th best option at quarterback on the free agency list of every fantasy league in the country. Congrats Timmy, you are the best jumper we've seen, now if only that translated in anyway into NFL wins. Needless to say, Tebow still has plenty to prove.

Thought #3

Sunday's USA - Canada hockey contest drew some of the largest ratings ever. It is estimated that over 27 million people watched the match. The question now becomes can that peaked interested in the sport translate to the NHL, which has floundered at best in recent times. The answer; nope. It was a special event, that's why we all watched. It's not that we suddenly love hockey, we suddenly loved the idea of beating Canada's tail and winning a gold. It's like that animated Rudolph movie at Christmas time. Tons of people watch that creepy old school clay action because it's the season for it. Put that flick on in January, no body's check it out. Yesterday was the one day season for hockey in America, and I'm pretty sure today most of us packed up our oversized 3/4 length sleeved shirts and stuck them in the attic wear they will sit for four more years.

Canadian Women's Hockey is awesome, US men look to upset, and Jordan takes over in Charlotte

Thought #1

Outside of about a three week period following the release of the Mighty Ducks movie, I have really never been able to get interested in the sport of hockey. Now I really tried to get into soccer on ice. I tried to watch games, I bought rollerblades, and even snagged a Wayne Gretzky poster one year at the book fair at school. But just like so many other forgien things, Indian food, tight pants, and Hugh Grant movies to name a few, it just never stuck. That was until this past week, when I had two huge revelations in regards to the sport.

Revelation #1

Hockey girls are the coolest chicks in the world. Following the Canadian Women's gold medal winning match, the ladies returned to the ice to celebrate, and celebrate they did! The broke out the cigars, the champange, and the brews. Awesome! Pretty sure they just moved up to dream girl status for me, but let me double check. Athletic? Check. Likes cigars? Check. Doesn't think beer is gross and therefore doesn't drink those girly sweet drinks? Check. Is happy to sit and watch old Bill Murray and Chevy Chase movies with me all day? Well the jury is still out on that one, but 3 out of 4 ain't to shabby.

Now a lot of people are calling for the team to apologize for their on the ice actions. To those people I ask; Apologize for what? Being young and happy to win? Celebrating a huge national victory? Or do you want them to apologize for simply being awesome? Let's be honest, the female factor here is what has people riled up. We've seen Major League Baseball players basically drown each other in beer following wild card wins, not even championships, and that seems to be acceptable. Ever Nascar race seems to end with an alcohol shower, so why is this a big deal?

Props to those ladies for 1. being awesome and 2. being smart enough to drink the beer rather than bathe in it like their male counter parts.

Revelation #2

I may have very little interest in hockey as a sport, but I have a very large interest in beating people at things they think they are awesome at. Think about it. How many times have you went bowling with a group of friends and serious bowler guy shows up? You know dude who has his own custom fit ball, wears that wrist thingy, and can actually name a professional bowler. How great is it to beat that guy? How great is it to watch him miss picking up a spare and then to see the girl behind him roll it granny style for a strike? Probably one of the best feelings ever.

That's exactly what the US beating Canada in hockey feels like. Let's face it, there are only a few things Canada can brag about. Labatt Blue, moose, and hockey. It is their game, they are supposed to own us all at it, and to top that, we're playing in their country. There really is no better feeling than beating someone at their sport, playing by their rules, using their ball, and playing in their backyard. Of course unless you do it twice.

Thought #3

Michael Jordan was a great basketball player, but when it comes to decision making, so far he has been a little lacking. Just mentioning the names Kwame Brown or Adam Morrison make many NBA fans cringe. Not to mention that how decision he made to play baseball for a year, so bizarre, almost seems like a weird awful dream doesn't it?

Now Jordan that has bought a controlling share of the Charlotte Bobcats and can now call himself an NBA owner, he has the opportunity to change that. The Bobcats are currently fighting for that last playoff spot in the East and could bring the playoffs back to Charlotte for the first time since Jason Kidd wrecks his grill on David Wesly's head. Now Jordan was smart enough to not take over till after the trade deadline, thus avoiding any temptation to trade players for any struggling former Tar Heel greats. That should get him off to a good start and with Larry Brown captaining that ship, which is loaded with plenty of young talent, this could be Jordan's chance to add to his already mythical status in Carolina.

One question though; Since Bob Johnson is no longer the owner, can you ditch the Bobcat nickname and come up with something better? I mean seriously, what is it with cats and teams in Charlotte? Is there a problem with strays? There has to be something cooler than Bobcats. Bobcats are like the hobo of the cat world anyway, they aren't big, or pretty. They are all scrawny, look hung over, and like they are on the verge of either throwing up or snapping on you at a moments notice. MJ, do Charlotte a favor and get on changing that.

Don't miss this week's Back Porch podcast!

Admiral. Ackbar as Ole Miss' new mascot, Ozzie gets a twitter, and the Back Porch podcast!

Thought #1

Political correctness and sports seem to rarely have a quality outcome and that surly is the case with situation with filling the gap left by the burying of the old Ole Miss mascot. The old mascot, who was basically an old Confederate plantation general, was ran out of town recently with thoughts of easing racial tensions. While that makes sense, it only makes sense if you have something better to replace it with, which could be a problem.

Rumor has it there is a movement amidst the student body to bring in ole Fishy McTurneck him, that's right, the leader of the Rebel Alliance, Admiral Ackbar. Now if you're a Star Wars fan, you know who I am talking about. If you have just casually watched the movies then let me explain. I'm talking about the guy who looks like a giant fish wearing a turtle neck and who has about 10 minutes worth of screen time in the entire series. Yeah, that guy. I mean this isn't even a character that you would make the dork down the street play when you were pretending as a kid. You'd at least throw that kid a bone and let him be C3PO or R2D2. Are you telling you want to be this guy Ole Miss? Do you really want fish eyes painted on the sides of your helmets? Come on, at least go wookie or ewok if you're going to go minor Star Wars character. What about Bobo Fett? He was pretty hardcore, had a sweet mask too. But you go with the fish in a turtleneck? Bad idea.

By the way, I stand corrected. Apparently Fishy McTurtleneck was promoted to Admiral. My bad Ackbar. Thanks for the heads up Nick.

Thought #2
Ozzie Guillen is getting a Twitter account. Sweet! This is great news for us and horrible news for the White Sox. This is kind of like giving your buddy who has had a few too many beverages a cell phone loaded with all his ex girlfriends phone numbers. You know it's a horrible idea and yet also a great idea. It's going to turn out bad, but no doubt hilarious and will no doubt result in plenty of next day apologies.

Thought #3

Why read when you can listen?

The Back Porch podcast for Feb. 25!

Royals' fan assaulted by wiener, Westbrook looking for a job, and more Tiger Woods fallout.

Thought #1

For years hotdogs and baseball have gone together like cheap beer and college students. We all know that hotdogs are probably one of the worse foods a human can eat. Rumor has it they are made from lips and .. well other pig body parts. We know they aren't exactly good for you, but until today we did not know how truly dangerous they were.

Today it was reported that Kansas City Royals' fan John Coomer is suing the Royals for $25,000 following an incident involving a projectile wiener. Coomer was apparently caught off guard by the flying pork on Sept. 8 and blames it for his detached retina and developing cataracts. Word has it the team mascot Sluggerrr was behind the incident, although the team denies this being the reason for his replacement by a new large lion mascot.

It's bad enough that Coomer lives the life of a Royals fan, I mean it takes quite a bit of dedication to attend a game in KC in hopes of catching one of their handful of wins on the season, and this is how you repay him Royals? You launch hotdogs at his eyes? Come on, we know those ball park dogs are pretty much a rubbery death stick when eaten, but you put some speed on one and you've got yourself a serious weapon. Should Major League Baseball add this to their list of banned weapons in the clubhouse? Absolutely. Go ahead and ban ridiculous mascots too while you're at it.

Thought #2

Brian Westbrook is the lastest running back who will looking for employment this coming season. Following the release of LaDainian Tomlinson by the Chargers yesterday, today the Eagles followed suit dumping their veteran runner. With both backs breaking that magical number of 30 years old this past summer and being consistently plagued with injuries, its hard to argue with the teams decisions here. We've seen this before with Emmit Smith, Edgerrin James, and Shaun Alexander. The days of keeping the car until it becomes an antquie are over. These days as soon as that puppy's breaks start squeeling, owners are running to the dealer to check out a new LeSean McCoy or Darren Sproles model. Pretty soon LT and Westbrook will find themselves either on the used lot, waiting to be picked up by some young team looking for something decent to put their 16 year old QB behind the wheel of. It's the new way of the league and with other aging back like Clinton Portis and Thomas Jones out there, that used lot could be pretty full this spring.

Thought #3

The Tiger Woods fallout continues as now Proctor and Gamble isn't sure whether or not they want Tiger pimping their razors and deodorant anymore. They aren't quite sure if Tiger fits the mold of their "Gillette Champions" these days. Could be a big lose for them. I mean wasn't the first thing you always thought after Tiger won a big match, "dag his face looks smooth?" Granted you would think Tiger would be the perfect spokesman for deodorant these days. If that stuff can keep his pits dry while he's standing at a podium with dozens of reports waiting to feast on his every word, it's bound to be able to carry me through a date.

Seriously, maybe the biggest question is; why use athletes for this stuff anyway? I mean who over the age of 10 buys a razor or gel stick based on it's celebrity endorsement? Personally I buy them based on which is the least likely to leave me covered in those little toilet paper squares when I'm done or which stick will hold back the ever fashionable undershirt pit stain best. Rush Limbaugh could back it for all I care so long as I'm not bleeding and stinky by 9 am.

Allen Iverson's time may be up already in Philly, how the Celtics got Nate Robinson, and why is fishing on TV?

Thought #1

You don't have to be Dr. Phil to know that people develop patterns when it comes to relationships, and their rarely change despite what hope others have for them. Think about it, dude cheated on his last girlfriend, he's most likely going to cheat on his next one. A girl flips out on her last couple guys, having mental breakdowns that end with clothes thrown out all over the front yard. Yeah she ain't changing and if you date her, good chance your neighbors will be seeing your underwear dangling from a tree sooner or later.

The Philedelphia 76ers probably feel a lot like that cheated on girl or humbled guy at this point after talking themselves into thinking that this go around with Allen Iverson would be different. Today it was reported that AI will be out indefinitely to tend to his ill 4 year old daughter. While it's unclear exactly what his daughter has, what is clear is that the Sixers aren't exactly thrilled about this and are debating ever letting him return. Have you ever noticed that the crazier a person is, the more often bizarre illnesses and strange accidents happen to them? When is the last time Tim Duncan took a leave from his team for a mystery illness? What about D-Wade, ever hear of him just not showing up for long periods of time? Listen Philly, we tried to warn you, we all tried to tell you that a guy that couldn't make it work in Memphis, Denver, or Detroit, probably wasn't going to have a sudden change of heart just because he was returning to the city of brotherly love. Yeah, we know you will always have a soft spot in your heart for the guy, but giving him that second chance just earned you to role of the victim in yet another messy break up.

Thought #2

I got an email from a friend today that simply said "Nate Robinson?!?!?" Now knowing I'm a Celtics fan and knowing I was strongly pulling for them to bring in some youth to energize the team, I felt I owed him an explanation. So I responded with this:

What we witnessed with the Celtics bring in Nate Robinson was kind of like when we all sit at work on Friday afternoons and try to look like were busy. This was obviously Danny Ainge's attempt to make us think he'd been hard at work all season trying to make a deal when really he was just in his office playing Dig Dug. He suddenly realized the trade deadline was up and was like, "umm, crap, what to do .....Nate Robinson, done. Now back to my game." That's the best I can figure. I just hope he understands that simply getting shorter isn't the same as getting younger.

Thought #3

I'm pretty sure the only time watching bowling, fishing, poker, or figure skating on tv is when things go drastically wrong. I mean think about it, the best part of any of those events is when someone either falls down or gets really up set and flips out on someone else. Listen I totally respect the abilities of the people who excel at such events, but just because people are good at stuff doesn't make it worthy of a TV spot. I mean seriously unless dude is falling out of a boat, or flipping out on a bowling fan in the stands for snapping a pic during his approach, most of us aren't interested. You know my grandad is pretty flipping awesome at moving the yard, dude can edge up that sidewalk like it's nobody's business, but I wouldn't watch that on TV. With the exception being him getting really mad at the stray cat in his yard, flipping out, and chasing it with the lawn mower. I would probably watch that, that cat sucks.

Baseball's new rule banning brass knuckles, Figure Skating outfits, and thoughts on Tiger's talk.

Thought #1

Major League Baseball has officially banned deadly weapons in the clubhouse. No longer can players bring their "guns, long knives, metal knuckles, daggers, and explosives" on team functions. Explosives? Daggers? Really? What the heck is going on in the clubhouses these days? I mean I get it that some of those day games get pretty long and that mid-July stretch needs a little spicing up sometimes, but enough to break out the daggers? The thing is you know that everyone of those items was listed purposfully, which means someone has brought that stuff into clubhouses before. I just want to know what genius showed up with some explosives, got busted, and then went George Constanza on them. You know, "what? is that against the rules? I mean no one ever said not to bring swords and dynamite into the clubhouse so I assumed it would be ok." Who was that guy? Was it Manny? Did Manny break up some brass knuckles over the summer? Well regardless of who it was, this summer if players want to protect themselves on team functions they will be restricted to nunchucks, throwing stars, and crossbows.

Thought #2

Remember that kid in school that got picked on a lot and you kind of felt sorry for him, but then on the other hand, you also kind of felt like he brought it on himself? You just wanted to pull him aside and say, "dude no more Velcro shoes and stone washed jeans. Stop playing Dungeons and Dragons at lunch and while you're at it stop eating sardines out of the can." You knew the kid was only making it worse for himself.

Figure skating is the sports worlds' version of that kid. For years you've no doubt heard people make fun of the events for various reasons, and now their critics just have one more angle to hit them out with their choice of costumes at the Olympics. Do you have to dress like David Bowie in Labyrinth to be good at figure skating? Is that one of the requirements or rules for the competition? I'm not a huge fan of the sport anyway, looks a whole lot like this things I used to do as a kid called spinning around and jumping, so adding in some ridiculously tight and equally hideous costumes isn't going to help. Seriously I think part of Evan Lysacek's get up the other night was made of Christmas tree garland. It seems like as much crap as figure skating gets in general from people, the last thing they would want to do is make that target about 5 times larger by dressing up like a skeleton.

Thought #3

I found Tiger's apology to be about as sincere as a scripted apology could be. Loved the fact that he paused and looked down between "Good morning," and "thank you for being here." Really I'm not sure what Tiger expected to gain from this reading, but so far it seems to have been a good step towards rebuilding his relationship with his fans and sponsors. He used adult words too like affair and cheated making, when he could have just beat around the bush with some general statements, another good step. The thing is, that's exactly how he has to look at it, a couple of first steps, and one or two steps don't get you all the way to the top of the staircase. So there is still plenty of work left to be done on Tiger's part.

On a side note, I did find the comments he made about his wife to be very interesting. Not in that he defended her as not being abusive towards him, but in the fact that she wasn't abusive. Lord knows plenty of women would have lit him up if they had found out he had been cheating on them. If she didn't, she really is a saint.

Tiger Woods announces that he will make an announcement, Amare unpacks, the Knicks make room for the King, and the Back Porch podcast!

Thought #1 -

Tiger Woods has officially announced that he will make an announcement tomorrow. Whew! Thank goodness! Now we no longer have to fear that sneak announcement from Tiger. We can all sleep easy knowing that there is no chance we will be hit by some off the cuff, geuine, and non-scripted statement and/or apology. Now I'm not one who thinks Tiger owes me an apology, he didn't cheat on me, didn't wreck my car, or even bust up my fire hydrate. However I do think if Tiger is going to make a statement, if he is going to come out, keep with your endorser and just do it buddy. Don't come out and read some cookie cutter prewrote statement that your lawyers have obviously helped you put together. By making a specitcal of your coming out speech, all you're really doing is building yet another platform from which you can fall.

Thought #2

So I guess Amare should go ahead and take all his glasses back out of the bubble wrap and stick them back in the cabinet because it doesn't seem he will be moving afterall. Weeks and weeks of Amare trade talks result in absolutely nothing today as the NBA trade deadline hit. It seems as hard as the Suns tried to deal the guy, they just couldn't get want they wanted and decided to keep him for a few more miles. Granted this probably doesn't make Amare feel all that loved in Phoenix, but owner Robert Sarver and Steve Kerr are taking him out to dinner tonight, so I'm sure that will ease the tension. As hard as they tried to get rid of him, pretty sure they better go appitizers and desserts tonight.

Thought #3

The Knicks have put themselves in pretty good shape for the Summer-o-Lebron coming up. They picked up Tracy McGrady today and set themselves up to be $30 million under the cap this summer giving them plenty of ammo to mke a run at the King, D-Wade, or even Chris Bosh. Granted I still think the only way they lure Lebron to the Big Apple invovled tanking the season, winning the draft lottery, and bringing in Kentucky's John Wall. I think the dance alone might being in Lebron.

The Back Porch podcast!

The NBA trade Soc-Hop, Sebastian makes 16 million, and another odd baseball injury.

Thought #1

With the NBA deadline a mere hours away the climate begins to feel more and more like a high school Soc-Hop. You know most of the people there standing around the dance floor, bobbing their heads, and wondering who will be brave enough to step out on the floor.

Of course you have your folks with no fear, your Mavericks and Blazers who jump out ahead of everyone and confidently show off their moves. (Dallas pulling in Caron Butler and the Blazers getting a quality band-aid for their big man situation in Camby.) They also usually pull in some unsuspecting person with them to use as their dance partner too. (ie the Clippers and Wizards)

Then you have your stag line folks, bobbing around, eyes wide open, and just hoping someone will take an interest in what they got going on. They really really really want to dance, but don't quite have the moves to attract a really hot partner. Be sure that the longer the night goes, the better those lesser options hanging out by the chips and dip start to look. Basically Boston, Chicago, San Antonio, and Philadelphia are in the stag line. Boston is trying to make Ray Allen appear as much like the 2001 version of himself as possible, while Chicago tries pimp the dancing skills of Hinrich and Thomas, San Antonio and Philly are attempting to find a decent partner by shopping around the likes of Jefferson, and Iguodala. Of course that would make teams like New York, New Jersey, and Houston those less attractive options by the chip dip.

Then you've got those super cool kids, who you know if they start dancing, will start a chain reaction that will cause everyone else there to get out on the floor. This year it's the Heat and Cavaliers both making a play for the hottest date at the Soc Hop, Amare Stoudemire. Everyone else in the place is waiting to see which one is going to score the breakout dance and who is going to have to move on to their fall back plan. (Most likely the Wizards Antwan Jamison or the Pacers' Troy Murphy.) Everyone is sitting back and waiting to see the drama play out as if this were a Jersey Shore episode. One thing's for sure though, no matter who ends up with the best looking girl at the dance this year it's going to start that chain reaction, DJ Kool's "Let me clear my throat," will start playing, and everything will get a little nutty.

Thought#2

My grandmother tried and tried to convince me to become a kicker. She knew I was interested in football and figured every team needs a kicker and the kicker rarely gets crushed. She was a smart lady.

Today the Oakland Raiders proved my grandma completely right by extending Sebastian Janikowski's contact for four more years, allowing to him earn a total of $16 million. 16 million dollars! For a kicker! Granted the dude has a boot, splitting the uprights from 61 yards out last season, but really Oakland, that's where you choose to drop your coin? Are you sure that's the impact player you want to tie your ship to? I mean he has been there for the past 7 years, in which you have lost eleven game each season. So I guess you are looking for consistency? Might want to rethink this one for a second. Might be a good idea to spend a little of that change on players who can help you move the ball. Sure Sebastian is good from 61, but just remember you still have to get to midfield for that.

Thought #3

There are plenty of rules and caution labels out there that don't make any sense. Rules like, "don't stop your car on the interstate," or caution labels at the gas station that remind you not to smoke while you are filling up. Do you ever wonder who the genius was who broke that rule and necessitated the need for such an obvious warning?

The Baltimore Orioles have had to institute such a rule recently after right-hander Brad Bergesen injured himself while filming a commercial. Brad, who is apparently a sucker for realism, decided to go all out during the shoot resulting in hurting his shoulder. He will reported be limited for 7 to 10 days after the O's start pitchers and catchers training on Thursday. So I'm guess commercials are officially on the do not do before training camp list, right up there with para sailing, hang gliding, (hey look I'm hang gliding...,) and base jumping.

The Winter Olympics are here, Amare is on the market, and Coach K isn't interested in working with the Russians

Thought #1

The Winter Olympics have snuck up on us and officially begun. This of course means you will spend the next couple weeks sitting through Sports Center highlights of bizarre sports along with being slightly overwhelmed by the abundance of people you will see in tights.

The Olympics is the sports world's version of sushi. People always try to talk me into trying sushi and it always ends the same way, it sucks. Sushi is over priced and tastes like the fishing prier smells. (By the way, shouldn't something you don't cook be cheaper than something you do?) Sushi fan and Olympic fan have a lot in common though, they are always trying to convince non fans to get it another shot. Think about it. How many times has Olympic fan tried to convince you that curling is legit or that you should feel ashamed of yourself for hoping the figure skaters bite it at some point during their event? Just like sushi, we'll all give it a shot but in the end we'll end up ditching the raw fish for a chicken sandwich and flipping the channel over to a Fresh Prince rerun.

Thought #2

The NBA trade season has heated up and it appears that Amare Stoudemire is the hot chick everyone wants to take to the prom. It's been no secret that Cleveland is in hot pursuit of Amare, offering Zydrunas Ilgaugas and J.J. Hickson, which essentially means a young star and a bag of cash to the Suns since they will most likely waive big Z. So can the second go around for the Amare/Shaq relationship work out better than the first time? It didn't exactly produce a banner in Phoenix, but maybe with Lebron playing mediator it would work. Amare just better make sure he doesn't calling himself "The Big Aristotle," apparently Shaq is a little touchy when it comes to nicknames these days.

Other potential dates include Philly, who would give up Andre Igoudala for Amare and Miami, who really wants him but doesn't seem to have any bargaining chips.

While who ends up courting Amare to the big dance is unclear what is clear it that Phoenix is interested in finding a little cheaper date.

Thought #3

Looks like coach K isn't all that interested in going to New Jersey after all. Rumors swirled around the possibility that Krzyzewski might be interested in leaving Duke for the Nets earlier this week. You know this is kind of like a person trading in a really nice house in a decent town for a chance to live in a shack at the beach. Sure you can walk to the ocean but eventually you're going to get tried of not having a toilet that works and having to cover your windows in plastic to keep the winter drafts out. Plus, coach K acknowledged that a Russian billionaire isn't very likely to hire a Polish guy. Coach isn't dumb, he's seen Rocky IV. He doesn't want those guys following him and his team around in a black sedan as they work out.

Thought #4

The Daytona 500 was red flagged twice for a hole in the pavement. Are you telling me in a crowd of NASCAR fans that big there isn't a dude there who can patch some asphalt? Come on NASCAR, offer up a six pack and bucket of KFC to who ever can patch it and I guarantee it will be fixed in a half hour.

And by the way, did I hear this right, they haven't paved that track since 1978?!?! What the heck NASCAR. That's like the NFL neglecting to seed and fertilize the field in Miami before the Super Bowl. I mean seriously, 1978? They pave the road in my neighborhood at least once every two or three years. NASCAR can say that it was no one's fault but you have to think a fresh layer of pavement wouldn't have hurt. Pretty embarrassing Mr. France.

Congrats to Jamie McMurray. It's nice to see a good guy who got dumped on so much last year come out on top.

Shaq and Dwight fight over who gets to play Superman, NBA celebs' game, and Boston trade rumors squashed

Thought #1 -

Do you remember back when the first of the newer Batman movies came out? The real good one with Michael Kenton as Batman? Remember how Adam West was super bent that he wasn't considered for the role of the Dark Knight even though Lord knows the last thing anyone wanted to see was a Batman with a utility belt/back support, complete with an Ensure milkshake and K&W coupons. Yeah, it was pretty ridiculous.

Pretty sure Shaquille O'Neal and Adam West would get along pretty good these days. Reportedly Shaq is pretty ticked off that Dwight Howard is running around using the nickname "Superman." Now granted Shaq did proclaim himself the Man of Steel years ago, even got the ink done to prove it, so Dwight's move isn't the most create of moves. Really though, has any of us referred to Shaq as superman in the past 5 years? Besides, Superman is only one of about dozen nicknames Shaq has dropped on himself during his career so maybe Dwight thought he had moved on to the Shaqtus and Superman was now free? Listen let's be real honest about what's going on here. Dwight is the dominate big man in the league right now and Shaq can't come to terms with it. This nickname thing is just the vehicle he is using to vent over the fact that he isn't on top anymore. Of course the great thing about Dwight is that he isn't backing down from the old guy. He's not caving in on this one and in fact with his new ESPN commercial he's milking it for all it's worth. Looks like these two are just going to have to fight it out on the playground the same way third graders fight out who is going to be the Red Power Ranger.

Thought #2-

If you are lacking a bit of self esteem here lately and need a little boost, I suggest checking out a replay of the NBA's celebrity game from Friday night. Pretty sure we need to use the word "game" very loosely here. If you've ever stumbled into a high school gym on a snowy day and caught the indoor track team trying to get a little extra cardio by playing a pick up game, you've seen a more skilled contest than the display that was on last night.

Actor Michael Rapaport was named the MVP with a stunning 4 points as the East beat the West 41-37. Who you ask? Exactly. That guy from that one show that I think came on Fox? Typically when you refer to someone as a celebrity you're acknowledging that most people have a clue who said person is. You typically don't hear sentences like, "he's that guy from that show" or "you know, he sings that one song in that one movie" when it comes to celebs. Unfortunately Friday night's game was loaded with a whole lot of "that guy from that one thing." Whatever happen to the good old days of MTV's Rock and Jock? I mean sure they had all kinds of crazy hot spots you could extra points from, but at least I knew the majority of the players in the game. Sure you might occasionaly have to deal with a Frankie Muniz sighting, but you also got the occasional Fresh Prince sighting to make up for it. Pretty sure the biggest star in that combination of third tier rappers and Globetrotters was Chris Tucker, or at least what used to be Chris Tucker before he spent the entire month of October in a Golden Corral. Seriously dude, you're looking rough. Come on NBA mix in a Adam Sandler or a Bill Murray. We all saw Space Jam, Bill can ball.

The sad thing is the only thing worse than the game itself, was the fact that I couldn't stop watching it and no doubt will again.

Thought #3 -

If you've ever thought you knew exactly what you were getting for Christmas, got all geeked up, ripped through the wrapping paper just to find a sweater, you know exactly how Celtics fans felt yesterday. Yahoo Sports reported Friday that the Celtics were working a deal to bring Caron Butler and Antawn Jamison to Boston for Ray Allen and some spare parts. Unfortunately for Celtics fans Danny Ainge came out later that night and said there was zero truth to such rumors.

It's clear the Celtics need to get younger and it's clear that Allen is the bargaining chip they want to use to accomplish this. A deal with the Wizards would have pushed them back to the elite of the Eastern Conference, a spot from which they have fallen from this season.

The thin line between sex addicts and perverts, Rick Pitino's potential new gig, and the Back Porch podcast!

Thought #1 -

What's the difference between a sex addict and the causal pervert on the street? It very well may just come down to having the money and time to enter a rehab clinic, toss on a robe, and slap on a label.

Over the past month our eyes have been opened to a world that most of us had rarely heard of before, the world of sex addiction clinics. First Tiger Woods reportedly entered one after cheating on his wife and this week we learned that former ESPN baseball analyst Steve Phillips did the same. This just begs the question; really? Do you really want to slap the label of addiction on this? Now I buy that you have a problem and I get that you got away with one affair so it makes affair number 2, 3, and 25 a little more tempting, but an addiction? Are you tell me that if you aren't out having sex with some tramp you're balling up in a corner shaking from with drawl? Not quite sure I'm buying that Steve.

Now don't get me wrong I wish Steve the best and hope he gets his life straight, I just find it hard to slap the label of addiction on this. It's a little hard for this to seem like anything more than an excuse for a string of very poor decisions. Sure you have a problem, a big problem, but an addiction? Really?

Thought #2

Rick Pitino has denied rumors of being interesting in the head coaching position of the New Jersey Nets. Rick, currently the coach of the Louisville Cardinals, claims to want to stay at the University. Really though it makes far more sense him to split town. Think about it, the Cardinals are under achieving this season and Rick is facing an off season of not only fighting for recruits against John Calipari, but also of explain his own affair to his recruits' parents. Not exactly a dream position to be in. He could go to New Jersey and attempt to make up for that horrid span he spent with the Celtics. He could sit at the press conference and tell New Jersey fans that Derrick Coleman isn't coming through that door and neither is.......umm 2002 Jason Kidd maybe? Frankly going to the team with the lowest expectations would probably be a great thing for Rick. He if breaks double digit wins it would be a huge improvement.

And....

The Back Porch podcast!

Indianapolis' icy homecoming, possible Glen Davis for DJ Augustine trade, and New Orleans parade concerns

Thought #1-

Do you remember that old Applebee's commercial where the high school football team was driving home after a tough lose, it was raining, and all they wanted to do was throw down a few ribs at the neighborhood bar and grill? Remember the place was closed, but the workers all stayed to hook up the fellas just to show how much they supported them. Yeah, guessing that Applebees wasn't in Indianapolis.

The Colts return to Indy on Monday to a heart warming crowd feature 11 faithful fans. Yeah, not even tens of fans showed up to welcome the AFC champions back to town. How is this even possible? There had to have been at least 50 plus guys on that plane with families, plus I would hope a few friends, did they not brave the weather to come out? How did these guys even get home? Did Peyton and Reggie Wayne have to split a cab?

Listen Indy I know you were no doubt more than a little sore from dropping the big game, but don't tell me you're that fair weatherNew Orleans had scheduled a parade for their boys win or lose and you can't even spend 10 minutes to welcome your team back? No wonder you never saw a single shot of downtown Indianapolis over the past two weeks. Very sad.

Thought #2 -

The Boston Celtics are rumored to be working a trade with the Charlotte Bobcats which includes trading Glen Davis, who has asked to longer be called Big Baby, for D.J. Augustine. Now the former Longhorn Augustine has a decently high ceiling and it's no secret the Celtics aren't real high on Davis right now, but would this trade really make that big of a difference? This trade seems a lot like that last couples hours you spend at work on Friday. You know you do a lot of moving around, but really you're not accomplishing anything other than giving off the appearance that you're doing something. The Celtics do need to make a trade and their fans know this, but they need a little bit larger of a shot of youth than D.J. to make a big difference this season.

Thought #3 -

The New Orleans' Police Department was reportedly a little worried about how things would shake out for their parade Tuesday night. Let's just say they were concerned about the combination of National media coverage and the typical amount of Marti Gras beads that fly around. They are even considering giving tickets to any ladies who earn their necklaces. What other city in America would they have to consider that in? Where else would it take a meeting to decide whether or not to enforce that kind of law? New Orleans is truly one in a million.

By the way with that announcement the viewership of males 12-30 just tripled, so I guess it was good for business.

Sean Payton pushes all his chips in, Sir Charles loves him some Taco Bell, and Baylen Brees stole our hearts

Thought #1 - Game Thoughts

The Super Bowl has come and gone and while the game wasn't quite the shoot out some had predicted Sean Payton made sure it didn't lack on drama. Sean pushed a ton of chips into the pot towards the end of the second quarter by going for it on fourth and goal and the Colts called his bluff. Lucky for him though, the Colts weren't nearly as gutsy in their play calling, running on three straight downs and giving the ball back to the Saints with time to savage the three points they turned down earlier.

Payton wasn't done shooting the dice there though, he turned around and did what any good Kenny Rogers does and pushed his chips into the pot yet again at the start of the second half. This time the hand came up aces for Sean, the Saints recovering the onsides kick and stealing the momentum that would carry them through the rest of the game.

It was gutsy and was exactly what the city of New Orleans needed. Letting it all hang out, letting it all ride, and playing the game with nothing to lose. Drew Brees got the MVP, which was well deserved, but if Sean Payton could have been in the running for it, youd have to think he would have stolen more than his share of votes.

Thought #2 - Commercial Thoughts

Maybe it's just me, but I'm totally not buying Joe Montana is rocking Skechers shape ups. I mean really can you picture Joe Cool taking a stroll around the park in those moon boots, trying to increase his calve strength? Really Joe? Next you're going to tell me you're strapping on one of those electric ab shockers or that you've bought into that Hollywood cookie diet. Just not buying it.

On the other hand I do totally buy that Charles Barkley is slamming those 5 dollar Taco Bell boxes. Horrible commercial, but totally believable. Well except for the idea that Sir Charles is only buying one of those at a time. No way that's happening unless it's only going to serve as a quick appetizer on his way to the Golden Corral.

Did enjoy the Griswolds showing up Sunday, not that it was a great commercial, but it brought of a ton of sweet Vacation memories and allowed me to use several sweet Chevy Chase one liners at work today. Hope they shoot for a Fletch spot next year.

And by the way, Betty White is still my favorite Golden Girl.

Thought #3 - Drew Brees Thoughts

Drew Brees! Great game for Drew. Great game for a guy who until Sunday night carried the rap of a great fantasy league quarterback but was always on the edge of being considered a great real world quarterback. That is no longer the case. He is now earned the rap of being one of the greats for this generation and deserves to be compared to the Bradys and Mannings of the league.

As much as I like Drew though, he is not my favorite Brees. Baylen totally won me and probably most of America over Sunday night. Listen if you are a lady in a relationship with a guy who is still a little on the fence about the whole having kids thing, now is definitely the time to pitch that hard. Seeing that little dude out there sporting his pop's jersey and watching the confetti fall, was special and darn cute. Pretty sure it made us all a little jealous.

Thought #4 - Halftime Thoughts

Anyone else have The Who stuck in their head all day today? Not that they are a bad band, they are just old and unable to put on a great show. The big question is; do we really even need a halftime show? Wouldn't you much rather watch a highlight reel, or maybe some type of crazy Red Bull stunt show instead of a washed up band? Granted the light show was pretty sweet, but really was the show itself anything more than background music for you as you made multiple trips to the nacho tray?

Super Bowl thoughts from the Back Porch

Super Bowl Thoughts

Super Bowl weekend is upon us and everyone is making predictions. Here is a list of things you can expect to happen no matter where you are on Super Bowl Sunday.

1. No matter what party you are at there will be one guy who wants to remind you of the Mannings' connections to New Orleans. This guy will attempt to tell you about Archie playing ball there and Peyton growing up going to games there as if it is breaking news. It's annoying, but just humor him for a bit and try to slide away to the nacho tray as soon as possible.

2. Despite all the chatter this week Dwight Freeney will play. If you saw the Sports Illustrated article on Dwight you'll know that the dude using machines that would make the Russian in Rocky IV jealous. From his diet to his use of lasers to work the soreness out of his joints the guy knows his body and will be able to get it together for 3 hours on Sunday. He'll be there, tape up, shot up, and ready to go, so expect him to make an impact.

3. By halftime you will be completely overwhelmed by the amount of times you see the Manning family clapping in the luxury box. You will also be completely overwhelmed by having to explain to the non football fan at your party that he is not the old white guy from Different Strokes.

4. Expect that Peyton Manning will figure out whatever the Saints throw at him. No quarterback in history has ever been more of a thinker than Peyton. No one studies the game better than him and by the 3rd quarter he will have figured it out, found the weakness and will blow up the Saints like Luke did the Death Star at the end of Star Wars.

5. You will be slightly freaked out by the Troy Polamalu commercial. Just be warned, he's pulled out of a hole and it's pretty creepy. The commercial gods will make it up to you though with the Miller High Life guy, who is awesome!

6. You will see a large amount of kids jumping and screaming to The Who at halftime, who have no idea who they are and can't name a single song they have ever preformed. The halftime show will continue to be the most overrated aspect of the big game until they quit resurrected bands from the dead to preform. Thanks Janet Jackson.

7. Drew Brees will have a good game. He has all kinds of weapons which will allow him to dispute the ball all over the field. It is very likely that on paper he will be the best quarterback on the field Sunday.

8. There will be one snack at your party that will be 10 times better than all the others. If you don't get to it early be sure that it will be gone and you will be left listening to everyone else talk about how great it was. Also be sure that you will see the skinniest girl there have a plate full of it, not finish it, and end up pitching it in the trash. Get there early, eyeball the snack table, and plan your attack strategy.

9. Pierre Thomas and Joseph Addai will have much larger impacts on the gave than people are giving them credit for. The Saints will try to get the run game going with Thomas to keep Peyton off the field. The Saints will also get some pressure on Peyton and he will look to dump the ball off on short routes to Addai.

10. If the Saints win prepare yourself for more footage of New Orleans than you have ever seen in your life. In fact they may dedicate an entire cable channel to non stop coverage of the party.

If the Colts win expect to see a 20 second clip of a random sports bar in Indianapolis and then more coverage of New Orleans than you ever have before. Be honest, you would much rather watch a funeral in New Orleans than a party in Indy.

Official prediction.

Colts 28 Saints 17

Enjoy the game!

The OchoCinco and TO experiment, Lane Kiffin starting young, and LT done as a Charger?

Thought #1-

If you didn't catch it, earlier this week Chad OchoCinco has begun to lobby for Terrell Owens to join him in Cincinnati next season. The question is would this work and would there be enough cameras to cover all the sideline antics, touchdown celebrations, and post game quotes that this could generate. Imagine these two guys trying to one up each other all season, it would be amazing. If this goes down they might as well both just cut blank checks to Roger Goodell before the season starts.

But would two of the most self centered players in the league be able to co-exist? Yeah this could be the NFL's new dynamic duo, but who is going to suck it up and be Robin? You know when you were little no one wanted to play Robin. No body wanted to be Tubbs when you pretended to be the Miami Vice guys or Luke when you went Dukes of Hazzard. It's hard to imagine either one of these guys is going to take that sidekick role. It's far more likely they both show up at the team Halloween party dressed as the cape crusader and get into an argument over whose utility belt is more life like.

The winner here would no doubt be the fans, the loser of course would be Carson Palmer. Keeping those two dudes happy on the field could be the most impossible task ever. Playing the role of parent to two spoiled kids fighting over their toys for a season might just send him into an early retirement. Have to also wonder if this means TO will be trying to stay at Carson's place along with Chad this summer.

If this goes down HBO would be foolish not to do Hard Knocks in Cincy this year.

Thought #2-

The United State's customs officials seized over 17 thousand Fox Sports NFL robot toys on January 12 because they were found to contain dangerous amounts of lead. Thank you US customs. Not only did you save kids from getting sick, you saved 17 thousand kids from being and extremely disappointed with their parents. Seriously what kid wants a Fox Sports robot toy? Those things were destined for those claw games sitting outside of the grocery store.

Thought #3-

David Sills is 13 years old and is setting himself up to have a pretty sweet life. Of course the middle schooler was at the middle of a media frenzy this week after receiving a scholarship offer from Lane Kiffin at USC. This does beg the question; is Lane going to start sending his Trojan Pride girls to middle school games now? Are they going to be starting out there after games ready to hand potential players a Sunkist and one of those giant pixie sticks after the game? Not sure where the NCAA comes down on pixie sticks, but I'm sure they'll find a violation in there somewhere.

Thought #4-

LT thinks his days as a Charger are over. The 2006 MVP thinks it's very likely that he will be released from San Diego and based on his 3.3 ypc this season its easy to see why. Let's face it, the tinted visor is no longer the face of the Chargers franchise, today it's Phillip Rivers. So what does the future hold for Tomlinson now that's he's broke that magical age of 30? It's hard to say. No doubt the guy still thinks he can play and no doubt some team will take a chance on him. But LT before you go jumping onto some mid-level team do yourself a favor. Call up Emmitt Smith, Shaun Alexander, and Edgerrin James. See how that career move worked out for them. Pretty sure they will tell you the only thing to come from those deals was a surplus of jerseys that just look bizarre with their names on them. Seriously, did that Emmitt Cardinals jersey ever look right?

The Back Porch Podcast

Mike Dunleavy no longer Clippers head coach, Ladies join the Mavericks huddle, plus The Back Porch Super Bowl podcast!

Thought #1- The Clippers have relieved head coach Mike Dunleavy . Now if you've ever been fired from a job that kind of sucked you know that mixed feeling of being upset and revealed. My guess is Mike is feeling the latter of those right now. Let's face it, being the JV Lakers coach can't be easy. It has to be a little tiresome always having to clear out the locker room before Kobe and the guys arrive and then having to get pizzas for your guys as they watch the varsity team from the stands. I'm sure that gig runs it's course, especially when the varsity coach is casting the shadow of record breaking wins over you.

Fact is the Clippers have underachieved this year and with guys like Baron Davis, Eric Gordon, and Chris Kaman, a 21-28 record isn't going to cut it out West. Mike will remain as the team's GM, which begs the question; did Mike fire himself?

Thought #2- The NBA is currently investigating how a woman manged to slip past security and give Rudy Fernandez a hug during Saturday's Blazers - Mavericks match up in Dallas.

Now if you've ever been the victim of a sneak attack hug, you know how Rudy feels. It's awkward, do you hug back fully, give that half heart one armed hug, or do you just stand real tight and hope it ends soon? It's always a tough call especially these days. In general I believe you have to have a few guidelines and if you stick with those you are safe. Only hug back, old ladies and children under 5. Unless you're at a wedding, funeral, or some other important social event, no hugging back in public. Just go stiff and wait for the awkwardness to cease.

Teammate Jerryd Bayless said the woman appeared to be drunk, but he might have just been basing this on the fact she went for Rudy instead of himself.

Now I'm not sure where the NBA will come down on this but I'm pretty sure the lady's punishment should be consistent with how good looking she is. Think about it, if Minka Kelly runs out and hugs you randomly you're not going to get that upset. You might ask for security to remove her from the game and take down her number for future hugs. Meanwhile is this is just some random 50 year, lacking a a few essential teeth and sporting a mullet, its probably not going to go down so well. I know its harsh and sounds mean, but its reality. Good looking people can get away with acting a little crazier.

The Back Porch podcast and Super Bowl predictions!

Dwight Feeney's ankle and Reggie Bush's ring situation highlight media day, plus Celtics' woes continue.

Thought #1- So far the two biggest stars of the Super Bowl so far are Dwight Freeney's ankle and the weather. In fact I'm pretty sure the ankle might need it's own agent after the wall to wall media frenzy that has surrounded it over the past 24 hours. Today at media day Freeney was optimistic that he would be healthy enough to play a role in Sunday's game. After hobbling around in a pair of sandals during the event it was clear there is no way the guy is going to practice this week, but his statement alone puts some added pressure on the Saints. Think about it, they can't not prepare for Freeney, he's had 84 sacks since 02. As long as he's dressed out on Sunday he's a threat. Having Dwight on the sideline is like the Colts having a gun with only one bullet. Sure there might not be much ammo there, but you can't ignore the gun because that one bullet can still be extremely dangerous.

Thought #2 - Aside from Freeney's ankle fielding around 100 questions, the next big topic on everyone's mind was the potential engagement of Reggie Bush to Kim Kardashian. Rumors have spun wild lately that if Bush's Saints won the Super Bowl he would drop to one knee and proceed to get hitched. After Reggie's response on media day, he might best invest some coin those eatable flowers I keep seeing commercials for. In responding to questions about the rumor Reggie made it clear that he would much prefer to be getting a ring from Roger Goodell right now than from Kim. Ouch Kim. Even though every guy knew exactly what Reggie meant, (seriously what is cooler than a Super Bowl ring?) every guy also cringed a little bit for Reggie when those words came out. Yeah, definitely want to go with those chocolate flowers Reggie and you might need to throw in one of those heart necklaces Dr. Quinn keeps pimping for Kay as well.

Thought #3 - As you get older injuries seem to compound on top of each other with a domino like effect. You sprain and ankle, suddenly it moves to your knee, and then one day you wake up and your hip feels like you got kicked by a mule while you were asleep. It's a perplexing and often if all hits you at once. You basically just have to come to terms with the fact you are broke down.

The Boston Celtics woke up this morning and no doubt wondered what in the world happened to them. The most recent of the season long injury bug that has plagued the team was Paul Pierce injuring his foot in Monday night's win over the Wizards. This is the last thing the Celtics need right now. With Garnett obviously not 100%, Marquis Daniels yet to return from injury, and the team's overall appearance over the last week resembling more of a church league slow break squad than an NBA team, losing their captain and leading scorer for any length of team could be the final nail in the Celtics season. Pierce is listed as day to day and insisted that if his foot was broken he would know it by now.

Celtics' fan should hope and pray Pierce's diagnosis is correct and his healing will be sooner than later, if not they could very easily drop behind the Raptors in the Atlantic and lose home court for the first round of the playoffs. Also, the absence of Pierce could persuade Danny Ainge to push even harder in trading Ray Allen in an attempt to fill the void left by the absence of Pierce's 18 ppg.

Either way the Celtics have aged more rapidly than that bad guy at the end of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade over the past few months. Combine that with a few key injuries and some late game fatigue and they're finding it's a very slippery slope from Cavilers and Magic of the East to fighting the Bulls and Bobcats for a playoff spot.

Rex Ryan's MMA debut, Tebow's Senior Bowl, and the Celtics aging rapidly

Thought #1- If you were afraid that with the Jets failing to make the Super Bowl you would be forced to have two weeks absent of Rex Ryan's antics, put your mind at ease. Rexy made a series of bad decisions Saturday night which resulted is a sweet photo of him sporting a goofy grin behind a fully raised middle finger at a MMA event in Miami. Now Rex is a different breed that's for sure, but mistake number one was attending this event and sitting among the fans. Can't image the combination of liquored up fans who are all geeked up to see guys make each other bleed is going to mix well with the head coach of their biggest rival. Mistake number two came when Rex decided to speak to the crowd and announce they would be beating them twice this coming season. That was about as smart as trying to put out a campfire with a gas can. So of course MMA fan went MMA fan on Rex tossing f-bomb laced remarks towards Ryan, which always is the best way to prove your team is better. Ryan then makes mistake number three, talked some trash back and flipped the bird.

Was there any possible way this wasn't going to get caught on a camera phone somewhere and plastered all over the internet? I'm guessing it to a max of about 20 minutes for that pic to hit the inbox of that guy's 50 closest friends, and probably 10 after that to be forwarded to hundreds of others. You got to be smarter than that Rex. This isn't 1985. Gone are the days that would have just been a Polaroid shot hanging above some local Miami sports bar. If you do have to see an MMA match again, I would suggested looking into some luxury boxes or at least refusing the offer to go Dusty Rhodes on the crowd. The again if this coaching thing doesn't pan out, you could have a pretty sweet gig in the WWE.

Thought #2- The Senior Bowl, or what was commonly known as the Tim Tebow benchmark test, was held Saturday afternoon and Timbo didn't exactly impress. Following a extremely poor showing, Tebow said he felt like he improved everyday since he arrived in Mobile for the game. Thank goodness the game wasn't played earlier in the week then. Most scouts have blamed his weak performance on his having to adjust to taking snaps under center and play in a NFL style offense. Not sure how that makes the ball harder to hold on to, Timmy fumbling twice, or how that makes a player look like his running without one shoe, but I guess it does. The good news is Tim will still have plenty of chances to prove himself in his quest to become an NFL quarterback, the bad news is so far, the only thing he's proved is his critics correct.

Thought #3- We all get there one day. That day when you go out to your regular pick up game with the fellas and about halfway through a game, you've just been blown by for the fourth straight time by the new kid, and it hits you. Crap, I'm old. Now this isn't the worst thing in the world, you can still play, you just have to change up your game a little. Pick up a slower guy on defense, try to feed the younger guys the ball, and learn to those little old man tricks. You know, keeping your hand on a guy, stripping the ball when a guy comes down with a good board, and throwing your hips into people to knock off their shots. It's bad, but it's manageable.

The problem for the Boston Celtics is that they all got old really fast and at the same time. They've dropped three straight games to the Magic, Hawks, and the Lakers. All three were winnable contests, if only their stars had enough wind to finish those teams off. Instead you saw Garnett getting ate up, Allen bricking his trademark jumper off the high screen, and Pierce getting a lazy offensive foul in an attempt to get separation from Ron Artest. This is on top of the general observation that they just look beat out there. Now all three of those guys can still compete and contribute, but they are getting darn close to having to take a Gary Payton esque back seat to some younger guys. Again, the problem is that they still make up the core of that team and have to produce quality minutes for Boston to have success. I'm not saying they can't rally, I'm not saying it's time to trade in the ball shoes for golf spikes, but I am saying the days of full body ben-gay rub downs is creeping up on them and it's about time to take notice of it.

The NFL gets greedy on Saints fans, Nike goes to combat too soon, and thoughts on Kurt Warner

Thought #1 - The Saints are going to the Super Bowl and like any Super Bowl bound team, team merchandise sales are through the roof. Great news for local Saints merch hawks right? Well not so fast. Apparently the NFL has felt the need to go Sheriff of Nottingham some of the local t-shirt vendors, claiming they own the popular phrase "Who Dat." The league has sent letters to the vendors demanding that that cease the sale of the shirts containing the phrase, which they claim is a legal trademark the league owns.

Really NFL? Are you that worried that someone in New Orleans might make a buck and you won't get your cut of it? Do you really want to play the role of the jealous spoiled kid here? You know the kid who owns every gaming system and hot new toy and has a rap star like variety of power wheels but yet still gets upset when the less fortunate kid kid down the street gets a Huffy bicycle. Do you really need to be that kid NFL? Can you really claim you own those two words?

On a side note the NFL also claims it owns the trademarks to the colors black and gold, giant foam fingers, the combination of beer and nachos, Thanksgiving, and air.

Thought #2- Do you have that friend who is too soon guy when it comes to jokes? You the guy who just has no sense of timing when it comes to those unsaid rules of how long before its appropriate to joke about a topic. He was probably the first person you knew to drop an OJ Simpson joke or drop a Lorena Bobbit joke back in the day and get that room full of undecided nervous laughter. Well that guy may have recently got a job working in the Nike advertising department.

Nike has released an ad with it's whole "Prepare for Combat" theme which contains Kobe Bryant making a gun reference. Reportedly Kobe mentions that he doesn't "leave anything in the chamber" in reference to his effort. That sound you just heard was every marketing person in the country saying uh-oh at the same time. Now normally this wouldn't be a big deal, but coming off a week where the leave suspended two players for bringing guns into the locker room, probably not the best of times to go into combat. Probably not the best time for some going to war or having a shootout analogies. Might want to go more the way of Kobe studies the game, you know show him in a library or a chemistry lab. Or go with Kobe's love of the game. It's almost Valentines Day, you could reenact a scene Sleepless in Seattle, even start marketing some chocolate Nike logos. The combat idea is cool, I dig it Nike, but it's just too soon.

Thought #3- There may not be a more under appreciated guy to ever play in the NFL than Kurt Warner. Think about it, dude has multiple MVPs, a Super Bowl ring and MVP, and 4 Pro Bowls under his belt, yet was repeatedly brought on to teams as a back up quarterback. Aside from his outstanding play, the guy has one of the best reputations of any person on earth and his leadership abilities are obvious considering the two failing franchises he helped guide to the Super Bowl. So why is it that you don't hear kids calling out his name on the play ground? Why is it that, for much of his career, we all failed to mention his name among the elites of the league? It's like the girl who you didn't appreciate and let go and now realize was awesome.

Warner's career has been amazing, going from stocking groceries to racking up some of the best passing numbers in the history of the game. Most of us should probably ask him to forgive us for over looking him so often. The good news is, knowing Kurt, he will no doubt grant it.

The Back Porch podcast

The All Star Reserves, The Tim Tebow Hay Ride, and The Back Porch podcast!

Thought #1 - The All Star reserves have been picked:

East: Rondo, Pierce, Wallace, Rose, Johnson, and Horford

West: Williams, Paul, Gasol, Randolph, Nowitzki, Roy

The only glaring miss I see in the West is Chris Kaman out in LA. He's having a great year, but I'm guess the fact that he kind of looks like one of the cavemen from the Gieco adds hurts his marketability.

In the East some have argued that Josh Smith from Atlanta got passed over, but I'm pretty sure there some rule about have a max of two Hawks at any given All Star game.

Thought #1b - Mark Cuban has claimed this year's contest will make the Super Bowl look like a bar mitzvah. Now I've never been to one of those, but if this is true, I may need to consider changing religions. Listen Mark if the All Star weekend is going to compete with the Super Bowl, and I doubt it will, you better think twice about that two-ball contest. No need for me to watch Scottie Pippen play against Rebbecca Lobo. Also, might want to give this celebrity game thing a rest. I mean really, who wants to watch a fat Chris Tucker try and play defense on Frankie Muniz? That's not exactly screaming, "better than the Super Bowl." It's more screaming, "Kinda better than Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman reruns."

Thought #2 - There me be no player easier to hate in the world than Tim Tebow. If there was a poll, who do you hate more Tim Tebow or the devil, I'm pretty sure it could be a tight race. The Senior Bowl has basically become Tebow central, with guys jumping on and off the bandwagon like little kids at a hay ride. Whether it's his throwing motion or his pro life stance, people love to hate this dude. Granted if he was doing anything other than a Pro-Life commercial, doubt anyone would give him nearly such a hard time about it. If Tim is rocking a gay rights or a gun rights shirt at practice, doubt he's getting this much pub for it. But a hot button is a hot button.

Politics aside, you know someone is going to take a chance on this guy. You know he is going to make or break some GM's career, but how is this different than any other year? How is this different from the Mike Vick's, Ryan Leaf's, and Jamarcus Russells of the world? It's not. It's always a risk and Timmy is just this year's easy target scape goat. Some will jump on the wagon, some will jump off, but both sides will hope to make bold predicts and be right. Bottom line, come April, dude will be an NFL player.

This week's Back Porch Podcast!

Greg Oden goes Playgirl, the Gamecocks party foul, and potential trade in Beantown

Thought #1- If you have sketchy e-mail forward guy at your work place, be very careful for the next few days. If you get a forward and the subject line contains something like, "Amazing Greg Oden dunk!" it is in your best interest to instantly delete it. Otherwise you may very likely face a burning sensation in your retinas and a few nightmares of naked 85 year old men.

Nude photos of Greg Oden have been floating around cyberspace over the past couple of days, which he claims are the result of a private message to a former lady friend.Oden claims they were taken well over a year ago, though I'm not really sure how that makes him any less naked. Possibly trying to explain some awkward tan line?

For anyone this is an incredibility dumb move, but Greg you're one of the most well known players in the league. You were the number one pick, the pick people begged for, you had to have known this was going to leak out. Granted it's not your vault some bent ex decided to spread these things around, but the best way to avoid that is to think twice about having that porno shot with your camera phone. Now you've got to deal with this on top of being in the running for the award as top bust of the century and on top of looking like you're 85. Maybe this was an attempt to prove your youthfulness, prove you still have a wild side, but it's not looking good for you Greg, especially not from that reflection in the mirror shot angle.

Thought #2- When you throw a great party it can sometimes get expensive, especially if you have a great reason to celebrate. Mix in a good time, a few drinks, suddenly you've ordered $100 worth pizza, someone is wearing your lamp shade as a hat, and that guy, who nobody really knows who invited, is passed out on your couch. You wake up the next day and realize you should have bought stock in Bounty paper towels and Glad trash bags.

The University of South Carolina knows this feeling all to well after being fined $25,000 today following their post game celebration against #1 Kentucky last night. Being the first time in school history the Gamecocks had defeated the top team in the country, the fans stormed the court in celebration. This was USC's second violation of SECs policy against on court celebrations, the first coming in 2005 against Kentucky and costing them $5,000.

Now I'm not a big fan of on court celebrations, especially those schools who think they need one multiple times during a single season. However, when you are South Carolina, when you just lost your previous game on a heart breaking last second shot, and when you're playing the top team in the country, it doesn't seem that outrageous. It defiantly doesn't seem 25 grand outrageous. For all the complaints out there about the money involved in college athletics, you would think requiring a school to pay that much for a post game party would set off a few alarms. But I guess it's a small price to pay to discourage fans from celebrating. Good job SEC.

Thought #3 - I hope the Celtics do trade Ray Allen for Monta Ellis as rumors have suggested. While Ray is a great player, he's aging rapidly and he is in the final year of his contract. Could be time to get young for the Celtics and a back court with Rondo and Ellis would be a great place to start. That is of course pending that they put a no moped clause in Monta's contract.

The NFL overtime rule and the start of Summer-o-Favre 2010!

Thought #1 - The last thing anyone wanted to see in Sunday night's NFC championship game was it all come down to a coin flip. Now granted though they didn't get the ball in the overtime, the Vikings had their shot, but since they obviously decided not to protect their quarterback or the football the game all can down to a coin flip. This is yet another example of how awful the NFL overtime rule is. A team wins the toss and immediately it's only goal is to make it to field goal range, center the ball, and boot it through the uprights. Sunday night's game was classic but the finish was sub-par at best. It was like someone made an epic film, ran out of funds towards the end of shooting, and just decided to wind it up in five minutes and add in, and then they died, the end.

NFL, you need to fix this. Don't let anymore hard fought games have such luke warm endings. Don't let anymore games filled with highlights from the stars of the league, rest on the leg of a guy none of us could pick out of a crowd at the mall and hasn't broken a sweat since September.

If you want to keep the overtime the way it is, how about we just eliminate field goals in overtime? It could be sweet. I mean can you imagine the game planning on both sides that would go into knowing you have 4 downs to play with no matter where you are on the field? It would have to be more interesting than watching it hinge on a guy who you couldn't recognize if 50 bucks depending on it.

Thought #2 - Brett Favre has officially entered his off season and he has officially made the first of his 200 extremely vague statements about his future. Brett says a return next year is highly unlikely, which is basically code for, hunker down for yet another summer of Favre and local high school kids highlight reel. Thing is you know this is only going to get worse as he gets older. Think about it, have you ever tried to order at Outback with anyone over the age of 50? You probably plowed through at least 4 loaves of that bread waiting on them to decide what Aussie fries are and if they in fact want them over a baked potato. And by the way, if they don't know it comes with a salad and your waiter spring the question on them, you might as well loosen up the bucket and prepare for loaf number five. We could be in for a long summer of Favre-mania, that's the bad news.

The good news is that the same reporter who is going to be camped out Favre's place, trying to catch clips of dude in his wranglers on his lawn mower, can also camp outside the sex clinic Tiger Woods is staying at. Since the sex clinic is right there in Hattiesburg, this shouldn't be a problem. In fact, do I smell a reality show brewing? Hmm.... You know the aging QB trying to decide whether or not to make another go at it, meanwhile trying to help the struggling young star cope with his addiction to the ladies. This could be good. Now if only we could make it so they are forced to live together with that alcoholic chick Ruthy from the Real World Hawaii, a guy who they all assume is gay, but are all to afraid to ask, and some failing former child star. What's the girl who played Punky Brewster doing these days? What about that one of those three boys from Home Improvement? Haven't seen Jonathan Taylor Thomas in a minute, he's probably free. We'll give them the task of developing a flag football team to take on that local high school, meanwhile have to run the local frozen yogurt hot spot, and a the annual Hattiesburg save the beavers fundraiser. Oh, and obviously it will all be narrated by Teck-Money.

Urban Myer's addiction, Fran Tarkenton is still grumpy, and the Back Porch picks!

Thought #1 - Have you ever seen that show Intervention? It's basically a show where families and friends come together to stop a person from their own self destructive habits. Sometimes it's crack, sometimes it's heroin, or sometimes it's a eating disorder. Regardless it's always something that is hurting the person and that they can't stop doing.

This week's intervention topic, college football coaching, and the subject is Urban Myer. Coaching is definitely Urban's crack and you better believe he cannot kick the habit. Last month he tried, siting health reasons, mainly chest pains and weight lose. The guy was in rough shape so he was going to try and give up his vice. Problem is he's hooked. Guarantee about two hours after he "quit" he was balled up in a corner somewhere just shaking. The grip of those Saturday afternoons got to him and no doubt withdrawal set in hardcore. Which leads us to yesterday where Urban announced he was planning to coach all of spring practice this season. The grip got him and like every addict, he thinks he can handle it this time.

Thought #2 - Fran Tarkenton sounds a lot like the old guy who always bashes new technology. You know that guy who claims he doesn't like this new "intro-net" and he doesn't trust ATM machines or banks in general, so he keeps all his money in coffee tins around his house. That's about how stupid Fran sounded this week as he reaffirmed his opinion that bringing Brett Favre to Minnesota was a decision he didn't like. What about the small pox vaccine Fran? You a fan of that? How about airplanes? Those sit well with you or do you think there is something a little bit fishy about people who want to join the birds in the sky.

Listen, I know both of those ideas sound ridiculous, but do they sound any more ridiculous than anyone saying they don't like the decision to bring Brett Favre to their team? Sure when he said this in August it just sounded like a grumpy old man but at least his argument had some merit. Today as we look back on a season where Brett has produced the highest QB rating of his career, Fran not only comes off as grumpy, but go ahead and add stubborn, crazy, and asinine to the list. Give it up Fran, how could you not like having one of the all time greats lead your team to the conference championship?

Thought #3 - Today's Back Porch picks:

While I do think there is something to the magic of the old gun slinger, I think there is even more magic in the mullet. Yes I'm talking about Jared Allen and that Vikings defense tht keep Tony Romo rattled for 3 hours last Sunday. Drew Brees is a great QB, but even a great QB can't play on his back. I also don't have the confidence that Reggie Bush will produce like he did last week for the Saints and help relieve some of that pressure the Vikes will but on Brees.

Vikings 31 Saints 24.

Two words, Peyton Manning. A lot of people are picking the Jets, a lot of people love the story line along with the cartoon character coach that is Rex Ryan. Heck, I love that guy. He's hilarious and he's put together an amazing defense. The problem is that defense is facing a guy who makes a little off studying defenses and then destroying them. Manning will go mad scientist on the Jets today. It may take a while, but eventually he will find their weakness and blow it up just Luke did on the Death Star. (yes I made a Star Wars reference. Sorry I watched Mallrats the other day.) I like the story, I like Thomas Jones, and I love the idea of Rex on the beach drinks in Miami, but Peyton is Peyton.

Colts 24 Jets 13